Eliminating That Guilty Feeling When Reaching Out

If you’re someone who hates picking up the phone to reach out, you’re not alone. So many people around the world feel guilty when they need some support, and it makes them struggle in silence away from everyone else. And that's something we want to try to eliminate in the modern era. You don’t need to feel guilty when calling on a friend or family member; here are some ways to help train yourself out of that guilty response when you need help. 

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Try to Be Specific

The more specific you are about your needs, the more likely someone will be to say yes. Not only does that help to eliminate guilt on your part, but it also helps to remove it from their side too. A straightforward question is much easier to handle compared to a vague request! If you just need an extra pair of hands, say so. Or if you need to talk about something, be upfront about that. 

Time Things Right

The timing of your request could be what’s making you feel guilty; people say no when they’re in a rush or already dealing with something heavy. It doesn't make you a bad person, and it doesn’t mean you’re undeserving of support! You just need to time things a little better. For example, when you pick up the phone, simply ask if they’re able to talk about something a little more involved. 

Don’t Let a Knockback Put You Off

Even if you get told ‘no’ by someone you’ve reached out to, don’t let that hold you back from asking someone else. It can feel like a punch to the gut, of course, but it’s just one person who just can’t make it over right now. There’s no telling how many others could be available to help! Remember, you’re not a drain on anyone, and if someone rebuffs you it’s no reflection on you. And if you’ve been there for them time and time again, but now you’re in need they can’t make it, it might be time to consider this relationship in the long term. 

You Can Always Talk to a Professional

Of course, if you truly need help with something, it’s always worth it to get in touch with a professional. Counsellors and therapists exist to allow people in need of help to truly connect with a service that understands them, and even if you feel you need an inpatient rehab stay, all you have to do is pick up the phone. It’s a lot easier to talk to someone who doesn’t know you, and establish a working relationship with the sole purpose to eliminate negative thoughts and feelings from holding you back. If you feel you can’t talk to a loved one, this is a very good place to start. 

If you often feel guilty when asking for help, there’s a lot you can do to break the habit. After all, loved ones are always happy to hear from you!

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