It can be challenging to come to terms with the fact that you may be in a toxic relationship, but the first step to improving your situation is to accept that this is the reality. Even with tools and information at your disposal, being honest with yourself about your relationship is a significant hurdle to get over. However, accepting that you need to remove yourself from a relationship that is causing you harm can feel impossible.
Accepting this as a fact will benefit you in multiple ways. It will make dealing with the situation and any anxiety or stress you have because of it more manageable and will also help better equip you for dealing with that person or remove yourself from them altogether. To accept that your relationship with someone is toxic, you must first be able to identify whether or not it is.
What is a Toxic Relationship
There is no single definition of a toxic relationship, and what is considered toxic varies from situation to situation. Any relationship involving emotional or physical abuse is toxic, but there are many ways for a situation to be toxic without this kind of abuse. Harmful or manipulative relationships can be considered toxic, especially when they begin to lower your self-esteem and damage your mental wellbeing.
If you and the person in your life have reached a point where most of the communication is hostile, this could be a sign of toxicity. When conversations almost always involve criticism, yelling, name-calling, and other negativities, it can make you want to avoid any and all communication. If you have become anxious about the stress that comes with any discussions you have with this person, it could be a sign your relationship is toxic.
Jealousy and lack of support from this person can also be a sign that your involvement with them is toxic. Your partners, friends, and family should lift you up and encourage you to accomplish your goals and desires. When someone in your life is clearly jealous of your accomplishments or discourages you from pursuing your goals, it can diminish your confidence.
While there are many signs of toxicity in relationships, both large and small, the most critical question to ask yourself is how this person makes you feel. If the idea of being around them or discussing certain topics with them makes you feel anxious or stressed, they may be creating toxicity in your life. Partners and friends should increase your self-esteem, so if this person in your life often makes you feel bad about yourself, it could be a sign you need to make some changes.
Getting Help
When you take the first step of accepting that your relationship is toxic, you can get help removing yourself from the situation or learning to deal with it. It can be difficult to remove people we love from our lives together, but sometimes this can be the only way to find peace for ourselves.
Some toxic relationships can be salvaged if one or both individuals are willing to put in the work. Counseling or addiction treatment can be great places to start if the person in your life is willing to admit they want to change their behavior.
The most important aspect of accepting that you are in a toxic relationship is remembering that the actions of others are not a reflection of you.
Jenn Walker is a freelance writer, blogger, dog-enthusiast, and avid beach goer operating out of Southern New Jersey.
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