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5 Things to Never Say to a Large Family

As you know, we have four kids ranging from age 9 years old to 2 1/2 months old, so of course mainly I get comments but sometimes my husband does too when we are all out shopping mainly. Some people may not be trying to come across rude, but it sounds like it when they say it.

What are some things people say to you if you have multiple kids?


The main comments that I hear when I'm out and about that stick out are these:

1. "You sure have your hands full, don't you?" - Yes some days seem like they are longer than others, more so if our older two are fighting but most of the time it's great and not much different than with two kids. We realize that we have four kids and don't need you to tell us that we are busy with kids, when that is quite obvious.

2. "You know what causes that, don't you?" - Why would you refer to our kids as "that"? They are children and very well behaved at that 90% of the time. It's not YOUR business how many kids we choose to have, whether that be four or five, or six kids! Mind to your own life and leave us to ours.


3. "You're not having anymore kids, are you?" - Right now, we are enjoying our 9, 8, 2, and 2 month olds so not at the moment. Why is that any of your concern though? You're not the one paying our bills, taxes, and taking care of our kids 24 / 7 so therefore your opinion isn't needed. If we have anymore kids, okay - it'll be another child to love and welcome to our family. If not, then that's perfectly fine too. Right now, I am very happy with our family of 4 kids. 


4. "I don't know how you do it with a toddler, baby, and two kids in school" - You don't need to know how we do it. We have been told on SO many times at church mainly, but also at Walmart how well behaved our kids are and how polite our older two are. That makes us very proud as their parents.


5. "When are you guys going to have another one? Your kids are just so sweet." - Again, that's a question that isn't anyone's business but ours. I have had so many people we know personally, as well as a couple people in my midwife's office ask this. I know they mean well, but they also probably ask because they know our kids are close in age. Our older two are 10 months 6 days apart and our younger two are 23 months apart.

43 comments :

  1. My mother in law had 7 kids, so she's heard it all! I can't imagine having more than two, so she is a saint as far as I am concerned.

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    1. Oh wow. My mother in law has 5 kids; my husband is the only boy. But her mom had 14 kids! I have NO clue how she did it mainly just thinking about getting everyone in a vehicle, but that was also a long time ago; 2 passed away though.

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  2. People are absolutely rude so much of the time. Whatever happened to minding your own business? People with small families also face similar questions like, "Don't you want more kids?" Seriously, back off, rude people.

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    1. I agree with you! And yes, that is so true about small families as well as people who don't have kids yet too.

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  3. Some people really don't think of the words they use and if they are even warranted. Yes we know our hands are full and what!!! lol

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  4. So one of my friends has 5 kids. People say all the time "Oh wow are those all yours!?" It sounds so insulting!

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    1. Wow, that's terrible. I wish people would think before speaking half the time.

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  5. I have two kids and I've had people ask if I had my hands full. No big deal. I think a lot of time people are just trying to say something to make small talk and aren't sure how to say it.

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  6. You are so spot on. It is your choice to have one or 5 or 9 children. Sure, it is difficult, but it is your life, not theirs. I am the eldest child and I have 3 younger siblings. All of us are 4 years apart from each other. I think my parents planned it in such a way that when the older one starts school, its time for another baby.

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  7. Omg peoples opinions definitely drive me nuts! I have the opposite issue. Only one child and I get harassed all the time with ridiculous questions lol...

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  8. I hear you! All topics of how many babies you've had or will have should just be left alone. It's personal!

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  9. I think people just don't know how to have small talk anymore. It's like once you get pregnant people feel the need to comment on your pregnancy, then when you have a child they want to know if or when you are having another...doesn't seem to stop!

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  10. It's amazing how people are so quick to judge. Everyone's decisions are their own and no one else's!

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  11. Yes! I was just talking to a friend with five kids. She gets #1 all the time, and now her kids are starting to notice! haha

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    1. Oh yikes lol. Our kids don't pay attention.

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  12. Oh that would get on my last nerve! I hate when people are so invasive. I mean, we get asked if we are having more all the time and I just want to yell at them!

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    1. I get pretty tempted sometimes myself.

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  13. We got a lot of comments when we just had one child. I can't imagine what people would say if we had several more children! (We have two now, and it seems to have stopped.) People can say really inappropriate things1

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  14. I grew up with two other siblings and it was great. We had friends in the house that we could confide in and play with. Great experience for the children.

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    1. I grew up with my sister and I. It's nice that our kids each have a sibling close to their age to grow up with :)

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  15. Kids are a blessing from the Lord!! I know many large families and I marvel at the way they navigate through life. Never a dull moment and tons of blessings everyday!

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    1. I agree with you so much :) I know a family where I grew up, i grew up with the kids and the mom has 12! And now all but 5 i think are grown, so she has a LOT of grandkids!

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  16. OMG Some of these are just down right awful. "You're not having anymore kids, are you?" I can't even imagine someone saying that to another person!

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    1. I am with you there. I'd never dare ask anyone that either. It's no one's business.

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  17. I only have 2 kids but my parents were foster parents so there were always several kiddos in our house and my mom used to get these comments. Another thing that bothers me is when a couple has no kids and people keep bothering them about when they will. Not only is it no one's business but sometimes they could have been trying for a long time and have fertility issues or have dealt with miscarriages and that question can be upsetting.

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    1. You have a very good and valid point here. I have a friend or two who actually have this issue of fertility issue and get asked often and it gets her upset, understandably so because she WANTS 5 or 6 kids, but has had many losses :(

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  18. We have 4 kids ranging in ages from 21 all the way down to 6 so I have heard it all!
    My favourite is when people ask me if I collect kids... LOL!!

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    1. Oh wow, that's awesome and LOL omgosh that's crazy. What do you say in reply? lol

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  19. I only have 2 but I have a friend with 5 and she gets questions like these all the time. I get the "when are you having more?" and that drives me nuts!

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  20. It's definitely good to consider how families may feel before saying things like this. People can be intrusive sometimes!

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  21. I am actually jealous of those with large families! I feel like there is so much love and the moms have it so together!

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  22. My friend has 6 kids- so you can imagine. I came from a family of 4 so that doesn't seem large to me, but people say the most inappropriate things!

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  23. I came from a huge family and my mom use to hate hearing a lot of this comments. It was pretty cool having 6 brothers.

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  24. People are so rude these days and so eager to tell everyone their opinion! If you want 10 kids, do you!!

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  25. OMG I can't believe what comes out of people's mouths! Who says things like, "You know what causes that, don't you?" I am appalled!

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  26. We have theee kids and we got more comments when our youngest was a baby. Now that he's three, people have seemed to get over that my "hands are full. " 🙄

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  27. I love to be chatty with people with multiples but there is a line. I will admit to "Oh you have your hands full" comments but mainly because when there is a little one around I am trying to angle for a cuddle!

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  28. I have many friends with more kids than I and I have heard many of these things said. I, however, have said - "you are more parent than I" as my behind is kicked by two. I am amazed at what people feel they may say to strangers whether about too many kids or too few. If your family works for you, I say "yay"!
    :)
    Traci

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  29. Having a large family is so counter cultural these days and yet such a witness to God's gift of life :) I usually try to say when people ask me questions like this, we will have as many of God sends us. Kids are a blessing.

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  30. Lol. We have all of those said to us! We have 6 kids ages 3-9. We most often get... those can't all be yours...

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  31. My grandmother had 11 siblings. I cannot imagine how their parents managed, but they did! No one in the family had that much children, the largest brood was 5 kids. I think the number of kids you have is not anyone's business but yours. As long as you can care and support them, its okay.

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